Ultimate Threekingdoms Parody
by Adrasteia Rebirth
Summary: The ex-RTK generals have been reincarnated into the 20th/21st century! Some yaoi crazed fan also starts annoying them... etc. etc. etc. ^_^|Some chapters are useless silly things, some are gonna be of a tradegy drama thing. Chapter 10 uploaded!
1. chapter I

Ultimate ThreeKingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth:  
  
Chapter I   
  
"This is not good..." Liu Bei sighed. "Our popularity is at an all-time low and this generation of people do not bother to read the book... save for those ones at the Dynasty Warriors 2 board... Oh why does heaven bring this fate down on us...?"  
  
"Did the idea ever occur to you that... we're dead?" Cao Cao scowled, glaring away from the Shu leader in annoyance and mockery.  
  
"Not to mention that most people just like writing about perverted stuff about us," Lu Xun pointed out. "That girl with an obsession with Zhou Yu is definitely frightening. The amount of yaoi she reads and the potential of perverted fantasy that flows freely through her mind is just totally-"  
  
A swift movement by another person's hand cut off Lu Xun, tightening his fingers around Lu Xun's neck like a vice.  
  
"Gackt!- not right-," the young strategist paused to take a deep sweet breath of air," -now."  
  
"Bah." Lu Bu released Lu Xun from his deadly grip and waved him away like a pesky fly that had already been dealt with. Lu Xun gasped for air and inwardly cursed his DW2-modeled body. Why not just follow the character design from the book...-?  
  
Meanwhile, Lu Bu took Lu Xun's seat casually at the conference table, even daring to put his feet atop the table. Zhuge Liang twitched and wrinkled his nose in disgust.  
  
"So... what are we talking about?" Lu Bu asked casually with a slight tint of boredom in his voice.  
  
Everyone sighed. No one liked Lu Bu but they can't exactly kick him out of the meeting even though they all had elite bodyguards. Even a Liu Chan clone could retell their experience of being thrown around like rag dolls during the Hu Lao Gate level. No matter how much they tried musouing him (potentially lowering down their bonus points at that)- no one really survived without repeating the level more five times and/or building up strength in freemode. Needless to say, they were stuck with him.  
  
"We're thinking up way to build up our popularity," Liu Bei summarized. "Do you have any suggestions?"  
  
"Real-Life Hentai videos for one," Lu Bu said. "Even better with Diao Chan and-"  
  
Dong Zhuo cleared his breath rather noisily at this and shot Lu Bu with the evil eye. "Have you been forgetting about something... Lu Bu?"  
  
Lu Bu glanced lightly towards his ex-ruler and said "Well, of course we can't put you in with her... not very many people would want a bare fat-"  
  
"BE QUIET YOU TRAITOR!!!!!" Dong Zhuo roared in rage, his face turning into the cliché engine red colour, jumping out of his seat at the same time.  
  
Lu Bu waved him off in his annoying casual way again. "But we'd have to think realistic here. The market for the video wouldn't be too good and would be restricted to the most elite of the perverted... although if we put someone in instead of you- anybody would watch it. So the male character probably has to be muscular, attractive, and with a big #)(&#$ so I guess the best contestant is m-"  
  
"Attractive?! Ha! Only when Wei and Shu forms an alliance!"  
  
Everyone turned around to see the speaker, a dashing and rather pretty stylish guy with a glint of mischief in his amber eyes. And he seemed to be damn well cocky too for that matter.  
  
Zhuge Liang sighed again once more. Gongjin, when would you ever shut up-? Then shook his head slightly in disapproval.  
  
Zhou Yu Gongjin took advantage of his DW2-modeled body, and probably vainly gelling each strand of hair for hours in the morning... his dark red hair seemed to act gravity defiant for that matter...  
  
The cocky guy smiled a rather cocky smile and said "Why, I'm so beautiful that even Luo Guanzhong said that I was hot! Muscular- ha! I fight in the front lines of my battles. Attractive? People say that I'm beautiful enough to be a girl! And I attract so much fans... even the perverted batch... (**shudders at the thought of his stalker**). And how about the third part? Well, I bet that-"  
  
"Ahem," Liu Bei cleared his throat in turn, it was torture for him to see his comrade- Zhuge Liang to be wincing and covering his eyes in shame and almost tear out his hair in self-mutilation; this conversation definitely grossed out the poor guy.  
  
Before anyone could say even another word, the doors to the meeting room had burst open and a girl pushed in a big-screen TV-- equipped with a DVD player and several surround sound stereos of course.  
  
The rather odd girl smiled disturbingly, and several of the Chinese generals recoiled in fear and horror, even Zhou Yu lost his usual cocky suaveness.  
  
"No need to discuss a hentai video!" the hyper girl said perkily. "Because we already have one!" Then she turned on the TV...  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Note from author:  
  
It's past 2 o'clock am... wheeeeeeeeee... definitely the time for odd fiction...  
  
Bah. When I upload a chapter in Word, the italics doesn't show up when it's on the fanfiction.net server so I just stuck in ""around the supposed to be italicized words instead.  
  
Hey, guess who that girl is? You DW2 people would probably figure that out easily... 


	2. chapter II- well, what else do you want ...

Ultimate ThreeKingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth:  
  
Chapter II  
  
Fortunately, nothing happened.  
  
"Hmm... that's odd," the girl said in disappointment. "My DVD player seems to be broken..."  
  
Everyone else sighed in relief. Gawd, who knows who would have been up there? Who would have been the victims of a perverted pairing?  
  
Liu Bei watched the girl in alarm as she kicked both the DVD player and big-screen TV repeatedly in a violent fashion. It seemed that if this continued at this rate, then they'd have several unidentifiable metallic clunks. His eyes widened even further as he saw the girl do an 8-step musou with 10 combo steps that linked to the earlier attack. The level of destruction seemed fairly out of place with the other half of the conference room- which looked very neat and orderly.  
  
The girl took several slow and deep breaths until she seemed to have cooled her anger and annoyance a bit.  
  
At that moment, everyone else seemed aware that this unusual girl that they were going to deal with is somewhat supernatural. Heck, Zhou Yu already had enough knowledge of that ever since she started tracking him down- even by defeating the laws of time. No matter what parallel worlds or alternative historical eras he ran and hid in- the girl seemed to have an automatic tracking device installed in her brain.  
  
Zhou Gong Jin regained his composure- although only partly. The sight of his stalker both frightened and annoyed him.  
  
"Adrasteia, what were you going to show us?" Zhou Yu demanded.  
  
The girl twirled around and beamed at the sight of his face. "Ah... just a fan yaoi video between 2 RTK generals. Nice animation too. I didn't make it but there's this other fan that spent 3 years making it and it had just been released yesterday. It's very nice, it uses both CG and cell animation. It looks very professional. And it's about 100 minutes long." The girl smiled at this and did a little curtsy bow.  
  
"And... this is-," Zhou Yu choked on his words for a moment then managed to continue, "- absolutely hardcore yaoi? For the whole 100 minutes?"  
  
"Yep!! Definitely!!"  
  
"And... who are the two 3kingdoms characters playing the leading roles?"  
  
"Zhuge Liang and Sima Yi of course."  
  
At these words, Zhuge Liang paled at this and almost toppled off his chair while Sima Yi on the opposite end of the table turned red in both rage and embarrassment.  
  
"WW-WHAT?!?!," the purple clad strategist roared.  
  
Lu Bu winced and commented, "That's really really bad for business if that was to make a nation-wide public release..."  
  
"BE QUIET!!!!!" the same purple-clad and red-faced Sima Yi bellowed.  
  
"Oh? And why? Is it possibly because of dark deep fantasies being illuminated by the light?" Lu Bu grinned teasingly. "So maybe all this while the tension between you two isn't really made out of hate and competition... but rather out of passion and sexual attract-"  
  
A loud thud interrupted Lu Bu's curious comments. Zhuge Liang had fainted unconscious and was lying on the floor- with a panicky Liu Bei fanning him frantically with the former's white-feathered fan.  
  
Most of them stood up from their chairs (well, with the exception of a non-chalant Lu Bu of course- who still had his legs crossed carelessly on top of the table) to see what fate had befallen the mastermind behind Shu. Although Sima Yi didn't even dare twitch a finger towards Zhuge Liang's direction for fear of more appalling thoughts of him and Zhuge Liang.  
  
"He's ok... just unconscious, that's all. He'll probably be waking up sooner or later," Liu Bei reassured everyone- although his shaky voice didn't seem to be trusting of his own words.  
  
Adrasteia skipped towards their direction and closely examined the unconscious man. Liu Bei didn't seem to be too sure of this since that Zhou Yu-crazed fan might take advantage of the situation and bitch-slap the poor fainted guy.  
  
Fortunately, she didn't. The odd hyper girl just poked him a bit- saw that he did have a beating pulse after all and became a bit disappointed at this fact. She turned around to face Zhou Yu and shrugged then went back to re-examine the remains of her stereo equipment.  
  
After everyone being assured of Zhuge Liang's well being, they all resumed their regular positions and became aware of Adrasteia's further potential mischief. The girl was tunneling through the remains of the TV, stereo, and DVD player and seemed to have found something.  
  
"Ah... I see..." the odd girl whispered to herself- then hopped out of the room.  
  
The Chinese generals' sighs of relief were interrupted by her re-entrance. But now she was carrying a second identical pair of a big screen TV, another DVD player, and several more high-quality stereos.  
  
"I seemed to have forgotten the existence of my backup copies," she smiled sheepishly. "Even though I unfortunately musoued that Zhuge/Sima yaoi flick, I still have one more fan yaoi flick. It's on-"  
  
"NO!" everyone yelled in alarm.  
  
The odd girl pouted at this and said, "Fine fine fine... but you people wouldn't know what you're missing... they'd make a really cute couple though..."  
  
This time, none of them bothered to ask her who were the yaoi-partners in this show.  
  
Lu Bu glanced casually at the clock on the wall and said "We definitely need to have better progress in this meeting..."  
  
"I think we definitely will since I am here," Adrasteia smiled disturbingly once more.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Note from author:  
  
Erm... just to tell you... I usually make fan fics right at the spot so everything that I post up here is actually the 1^st draft of whatever comes out of my mind ^^; I don't plan anything so I'm free for suggestions ^_^ Yes, I will try to include DW3 characters, but I highly doubt so because I have zero experience on DW3 and only on DW2 ^^; Yay. It's 1:30 AM right now. We love nocturnal fanfics, ne? ^______________^ 


	3. chapter III

Ultimate Three Kingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth  
  
Chapter III  
  
"So now… let's brainstorm… shall we?" Adrasteia said, while giving a not-so-innocent smile.  
  
"Fine, but no yaoi allowed," Lu Bu said in a bored voice- as if he was too good for this discussion.  
  
Zhou Yu's right eyebrow twitched while he crossed his arms and leaned into a wall. "How about just eliminate hentai altogether?"  
  
The girl's eyes watered- like some sort of exaggeration of those chibi forms in anime. "Zhou Yu-sama, do you not realize that your decision will impact the glory of our future?"  
  
Gong Jin looked at her like she was some sort of alien specimen. "- glory of our future? What the heck do you mea-"  
  
"In the old days, all the three kingdoms fans were geezers," Adrasteia clarified slowly, as if talking to a child that didn't understand the obvious. "But now, who are your fans? The video gamers of course. Whether it be for the Dynasty Warriors series, or be for the Romance of the Three Kingdoms series- they're still all video gamers. And who are video gamers? The younger generation. And what does the younger generation like? Anime is on the top of the list. And what do anime fans like? They like superb detailed animation. And which shows have superb extremely fantastically detailed animation **cough** and sound? What else but… hentai?"  
  
Zhou Yu shuddered violently even though the room temperature was at 20 degrees Celsius.  
  
"Not to mention that you and Sun Ce would make a great cou-"  
  
"STOP!!!" Sima Yi yelled. "Don't dare try to pair up any two people from RTK, you hear me!?"  
  
Adrasteia grinned mischievously. "In that case, how about Zhou Yu and m-"  
  
Zhou Yu flashed from one corner of the room (which was the farthest from Adrasteia) to the opposite corner in a fourth of a second and clamped her jaw shut with his hand.  
  
"Have you realized that we're in a conference room where are all top guys in RTK are present?!" he scolded her angrily- but kept his voice to a whisper.  
  
The girl smiled again- yep, she knew.  
  
Zhou Yu sighed and stepped back. He knew that he couldn't do anything. It's just like how people surrender to death and stop struggling because there is nothing to be done. It's just the same exact situation here. Adrasteia. Roman nemesis. Who knew that this modern version of the goddess of revenge is one helluva yaoi freak that had an obsession with suave guys? He sighed once more then flicked back some of the long dark red hair that was falling into his face.  
  
Lu Bu snorted as he saw Zhou Yu do this. Gong Jin could have sworn that Lu Bu muttered "pretty boy" disapprovingly under his breath.  
  
Yu's amber eyes flashed red in anger. "What? Do you have a problem with that?" then walked towards Lu Bu, eyeing him in an intimidating way.  
  
Lu Bu stood up, and mockingly bowed down in apology. "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am. Did I hurt your feelings?"  
  
Zhou Yu's irises- if possible- flashed an even brighter red. A flash of silver- then before anybody realized it; Zhou Yu was attacking a Lu Bu in battle mode with his katana and Lu Bu with his own weapon.  
  
After several exchanges, surprisingly- Zhou Yu's superior demonic speed seemed to make up for his mediocre attack power. None of them managed to even slightly cut the other, all attacks met with counter-attacks and a thrust was met with a counter-thrust. All strings of combo attacks had been interrupted immediately, and all musous didn't work affectively.  
  
Everyone stared at this intense battle in awe and bets were exchanged. Surprisingly, after several minutes, Lu Bu still didn't manage to scratch Zhou Yu and vice versa even though the majority expected for Zhou Yu to have fallen a long time ago.  
  
An hour passed, and while Adrasteia was still happily videotaping the whole thing, both Zhou Yu and Lu Bu attacked each other repeatedly to no avail. They both collapsed to the floor in exhaustion.  
  
"Wai monsieur, are you ok?"  
  
Zhou Yu raised his head slightly off the floor, then one of his eyes opened and saw the blinking red light of a digital camera.  
  
Adrasteia gave him a big smile and suggested "And now… why don't you nudge a little closer to Lu Bu and snuggle-"  
  
Zhou Yu sighed once more and let his eyes close and head fall, resting just for a while.  
  
Just for a little while.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Note from author: 11:00 something PM… almost midnight… but still pretty early so this ficcy wasn't as crazy as the last two. But still as pointless though ^_^ I have no idea where this little pointless ficcies are going so any and all suggestions are welcome because I have zero plot for the whole story. 


	4. chapter IV

Ultimate ThreeKingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth  
  
Chapter IV  
  
Throbbing pain.  
  
That was the first thing that he was aware of. Just basically pain that echoed off from an epicenter which seemed to come from his head. But the waves that it sent even reached to the muscles in his legs- which were extremely sore for some reason.  
  
The next thing that he was vaguely aware of is the darkness. No, his eyes were closed. So he was sleeping-? But wasn't he supposed to be in a meeting right now? Wait… that damned Adrasteia and that Lu Bu… and that digital camera… then I fainted?.  
  
Ah. His mind finally arranged the events in some sort of logical order by now. The meeting was basically going nowhere, and when it wasn't boring- it was just terrifying. Adrasteia was going to show a yaoi video of Zhuge Liang and Sima Yi- but thankfully musoued the DVD player in annoyance before anything more deadly would have occurred… then Zhuge Liang fainted, Sima Yi freaked out, Adrasteia said a bunch of more crazy stuff and Lu Bu became even more cocky than usual to the point that he couldn't stand him any longer. Oh, then the fight… Lu Bu is one hell of a pain in the neck… definite pain…  
  
His still-muddy mind managed to hold out enough to make use of some of his senses. Soft warm covers… so he's probably lying in a bed right now… but he fainted on the floor…  
  
A BED?!?!  
  
He listened carefully to make sure that there wasn't any peaceful breathing right beside him. Zhou Yu heard nothing but he couldn't exactly trust his ears at this state. Gong Jin didn't dare open his eyes yet and prayed to God… Kami-sama… or whoever the hell was out there that he wasn't lying right next to Lu Bu with his clothes stripped off. Heck, he was almost stuck in a similar situation with Zhang He. ALMOST. Thanks to Adrasteia of course.  
  
Then when he finally gathered up all his guts, he opened his eyes.  
  
What greeted him were the familiar fancy bright lights that were of similar fashion from the ones at his condominium. Yep, and they ate up a lot of the electric bill too when he forgot to turn them off.  
  
He groaned and sat up dizzily on his bed. Yes. His bed. So this is really is his condominium.  
  
Zhou Yu stood up and almost lost his footing, but managed to somewhat regain his balance. The feeling that he was experiencing right now is somewhat of an equivalent of a hang over- although he hadn't been drinking too much lately.  
  
It took him most of his concentration and willpower from crashing into the wall. After several minutes of hobbling across his condominium and finally into the kitchen, he opened a bottle of mineral water, poured himself a glass and tried to gulp some of it down his parched throat. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to help things much. It just inflamed his throat and sunk into the untouched bile that he felt that was going to rise to his mouth.  
  
Nonetheless, he forced himself to swallow a couple of mouthfuls, promising himself that he would feel better afterwards. And of course, all promises are false.  
  
He glanced at the wide clear windows that filled almost the whole length of the wall- which overlooked the fancy bright lights of the nightlife of Hong Kong. Zhou Yu suddenly got reminded of his wife, who's probably still on a shopping-spree somewhere around there with her sister- Da Qiao. Wait, no. That was 2 weeks ago. They're now in Paris. But still on several shopping sprees, nonetheless. At the rate that she's going at, Zhou Yu hoped that his bank accounts weren't going to be completely drained soon. Xiao Qiao always liked using his accounts and his credit cards as an alternative even though she had her own. He had always complained about this to her. Heh, and she would always say that she wouldn't use his money next time, and next time, and next time… but it never happened.  
  
He couldn't suppress his smile. Despite how annoying Xiao Qiao is at times, she definitely had her good points.  
  
For some reason, being in a sickly state triggers memory flashbacks. He instantly remembered his death, and the darkness that seemed to just loom above him- then slowly come down until he was nonexistent. Inexistence and unawareness of anything remained with him for several centuries until that fateful day…that fateful day…  
  
Zhou Yu finally realized that at the end, there was no heaven or hell. Just simply… reincarnation. Rebirth. But the gap between the lives might be large, he hadn't been reborn until the 20th century as a half- Italian half-Japanese person raised in Japan. His features were Asian enough to not be stared at every time he walked down the streets of his hometown, and European enough to blend in the crowds when he frequently visited Rome. He always had natural dark red hair though, but of course- his Japanese peers would just immediately assume that he dyed it.  
  
For the past 23 years, he had been completely ignorant of his former life. When he read the Romance of the Three Kingdoms book, he did felt sympathetic for the character of Zhou Yu- but he didn't feel anything completely personal. It's just that how some people never learn about their past lives until the trigger… for some people, it's just merely hearing about the achievements of their former selves. But for him, it was looking at Xiao Qiao's reincarnated form. She didn't lose any of her beauty from her previous life, heck- she barely changed. She still frequently annoyed him too. It felt so weird to realize that you were… no, are an important person that played a major role in history. It felt weird to be talking to some of your old peers from those good old days. Xiao Qiao already had a lot of RTK-related connections when he first met her. She had already knew what her past identity was and she had made contact with most of the ex-RTK generals anyway. Unfortunately, they haven't made contact with Sun Ce yet. Or maybe he's just here but he just doesn't remember who he is…  
  
Zhou Yu sighed, missing his sworn brother. Damn, those really were the good old days. Taking most of the southland in one year. People flocked to them, and children with their shining faces. Yep, they were the heroes back then. Until several Shu-ists a couple of decades and centuries later wrote that novel which altered the truth and made him an antagonist.  
  
Gong Jin's sentimental thoughts suddenly got interrupted by Lu Xun's slightly grouchy face- which appeared on the video monitor.  
  
"Yes-?" Zhou Yu said in Mandarin, the default language between him and Lu Xun.  
  
"Komban wa, Zhou Yu-sama," Lu Xun continued in Japanese.  
  
"Good evening to you too, Lu Xun. So any recent news?," Zhou Yu said in Mandarin again. He didn't mind Lu Xun speaking in Japanese because that has been his first language anyway, but he just didn't find much reason why Lu Xun would be speaking in Japanese. Lu Xun's reincarnated form had been born in Shanghai. So he would probably speak a combination of Mandarin and Shanghainese, but why bother with Japanese-?  
  
"Hai, Zhou Yu-sama," Lu Xun said slightly dully and putting a bit of an emphasis on the "sama" part. Zhou Yu winced at this. He knew that Lu Xun wasn't quite fond of the event when they discovered Zhou Yu, since Gong Jin was one of the first pioneering strategists of Wu- Lu Xun had been degraded in rank below Zhou Yu- making Lu Xun an assistant. But it wasn't his decision anyway. He had to admit that Lu Xun is one unexceptional strategist, and he didn't deserve to be something equivalent of a secretary to him. Gong Jin tried to ease some of the tension between them before- even by trying to affectionately call Lu Xun as "little-brother", but Lu Xun didn't seem to take much note of this and proceeded with the much unneeded formalities.  
  
"Continue," Zhou Yu replied, finally giving up and resorting back to Japanese.  
  
"There had been lots of activity in Adrasteia's computer. It seems that she has been hacking into the Koei headquarters and stealing everyone's character designs."  
  
Even though this was not entirely surprising, Zhou Yu asked in a bit of shock "Is mine included?"  
  
"Hai," Lu Xun replied. "Infact, it was your model that was downloaded first, then the next one was Zhang He."  
  
Zhou Yu felt some of his panic rise, but he had sufficient self- control to not to show it. "And for what purposes do you believe this will serve in…?"  
  
"Judging from Adrasteia's moral character, probably for another fan- yaoi CG video."  
  
Zhou Yu groaned. "Do you think we may stop her before anything deadly happens?"  
  
"Yes. It is possible. I'm already working on it now. But it will take me 24 hours"  
  
"Ok, arigatou Lu Xun-san. Contact me in 24 hours then."  
  
"Fine sir." Then Lu Xun's face flicked off the monitor- which returned to it's original black.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Note from author: Yay. 6:30 something PM. No wonder it's far more detailed than my last couple of ones, and it doesn't seem as pointless O_o I still find that odd because I also did it right at the spot. Anyways, comments? POST YOUR DAMN REVIEWS!!! ((hyper, sorry ^^;)) ((I must do homework now .)) 


	5. chapter V

Ultimate ThreeKingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth  
  
Chapter V  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Note from author: This takes place at the same time as chapter 4, but of course- it's told in Lu Xun's point of view.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Click, click, click.  
  
Several more clicks and a couple of taps on the keyboard. A long list popped up on the monitor with the heading of "Adrasteia" on top, along with an IP address.  
  
Two dark eyebrows drew together into a frown. His brown pupils weren't shown clearly since he was wearing square glasses- which threw back the white-blue lights of the computer monitor.  
  
He took off his glasses, gulped down a pill of Tylenol, and massaged his aching head. Sigh. So much crap… so much crap…  
  
Lu Xun's right hand reached for the mouse again, and scrolled down the very long list. All showed the websites that she has visited lately. Ha, she always forgot to delete her history folder… or maybe she's just too lazy. Bah, doesn't matter.  
  
He kept on scrolling down but didn't actually click any links. Before, he used to check out every single page that she went to- but then stopped for two main reasons. Well, first one: too many links- seriously, this girl has no life besides the net. Second: Content. He clicked a seemingly harmless link once… the description said that it was just DW3 fanart… Indeed it was fanart- but he immediately closed the browser window in frantic panic when he saw a huge picture of him and Gan Ning kissing. Lu Xun shuddered remembering this. Gan Ning… of all people- why him? Didn't these fans already realize that he had been married to Sun Ce's daughter?!?! The Lu Xun x Gan Ning pairing seemed to be the most popular. Wonder why. They always portrayed Lu Xun to be extremely girlish. Fine, he's not macho like Lu Bu but he ain't that girlish. But Gan Ning? Thankfully, even though they made him less masculine than he really is in real life and such- he still looked pretty handsome…  
  
Lu Xun blushed and forced himself to stop daydreaming. Fanart and fanfiction pairings are just the perverted imaginations of fans… nothing more… nothing less… Of course they didn't base it on any historical facts, right? Would they even bother researching about everyone and pair up people with the most compatible personalities? Or do they check the horoscopes? Or had rumours back then got revived into this day and age? Has our secrets from back then leaked out then passed on to generation to generation? Did they know his odd fantasies about Gan Ning?  
  
He refilled his glass, gulped down 3 pills of Tylenol and ruffled his hair in frustration. Must concentrate. Must concentrate. Must concentrate. Must concentrate…  
  
He squinted at the list of URLs in Adrasteia's computer and looked for anything unusual. Nothing. So he closed her Internet Explorer and looked at the activities of her other programs. Photoshop… AOL Instant Messenger… ah, the usual programs…  
  
Wait.  
  
Lu Xun widened his eyes in surprise and a bit of split-second fear. What?!? She's using the same hacking program as I am using now!! He scanned through the list of IPs that she had been hacking in. Whew. His wasn't on there.  
  
But Koei's was.  
  
Click. Click. Click.  
  
Tap. Tap. Tap.  
  
Damnit, she downloaded the DW3 character designs. Every single one of them. And lucky for her, she got the good files- the ones that can show every single character design in every single specific angle and position. So what is she going to do with them? Stare at Zhou Yu's and rotate it every minute? Of course not, she downloaded everyone's. Including Dong Zhuo's- so that had to say something. She must be up to something.  
  
The most obvious point popped up into his head. Adrasteia = pervert = yaoi + threekingdoms character designs = DW3 yaoi.  
  
Instant clips of images flashed through his mind. Zhou Yu. Zhang He. Sima Yi. Zhuge Liang. Lu Xun. Gan Ning.  
  
Lu Xun and Gan Ning.  
  
Lu Xun and Gan Ning.  
  
Lu Xun and Gan Ning.  
  
HELL NO!!! He was definitely not going to take the chance of that happening!! Of course not!!! He will stop any mischief immediately, no matter what!! So what is he going to do? Fly to Canada to stop that damned girl personally? Well? What else could he do?  
  
He immediately typed in the URL of an airline service and booked the earliest flight to Vancouver. So… tomorrow morning. Better start packing.  
  
Lu Xun turned off the computer and almost left the room- but then he remembered that he had to inform Zhou Yu.  
  
After dialing Zhou Yu's number on the videophone- he immediately saw the flashy ceiling lights of the fancy condominium. Gong Jin had put his videophone setting on automatic- it would immediately answer and the phone is on speaker on his side.  
  
"Yes-?" Zhou Yu said in Mandarin. Gong Jin didn't look as picture-perfect like he usually was. Purple circles below his eyes, and his face a sickly all-too-pale look. His eyelids drooped with fatigue and his dark red eyes were unfocused and distracted. Nonetheless, there was a slight hint of that flashing red sharpness in his pupil- that type of dangerous sharpness that gained an equal share of respect and fear. No matter how screwed and sick Zhou Yu was, Lu Xun knew that he shouldn't dare mess with him.  
  
"Good evening, Zhou Yu-sama," Lu Xun replied in monotone Japanese.  
  
"Good evening to you too, Lu Xun. So any recent news?," Zhou Yu said in Mandarin again. Why the heck is is replying in Mandarin? Lu Xun had already been talking to him in Japanese for his convenience. Infact, Lu Xun had been recently doing everything for Zhou Yu's convenience. Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu. Everything is Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu here, Zhou Yu that. That damned Zhou didn't even know that he IS Zhou Yu Gong Jin up until 4 years ago. Heck, I already knew who I was ever since day one. The first official meeting of the ex-RTK-now-reincarnated generals was held 6 years ago. Sun Quan had been so happy to see Lu Xun. Of course… and old trusted strategist… Sun Quan used to give him most of his attention and leaned on him for advice and such. But there was nothing to be really advised on anyway. Three Kingdoms. Those three kingdoms have been long gone. No more separate kingdoms- it's one communist country named China now. But they still assigned ranks for sentimentality's sake. Although… ranks for what? Ranks for a non-existent kingdom? Ranks for nothing. Nothing but memories. Oh hell, they were still ranks. Sun Quan paid attention to him and kept in touch with him the most…  
  
Until they rediscovered Zhou Yu.  
  
That fateful day 4 years ago. There were lots of hype for Sun Quan's long lost first advisor. So what am I now? Some assistant to this Mr. Vanity. After that… Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu. Everything is Zhou Yu. Zhou Yu here, Zhou Yu that…  
  
"Hai, Zhou Yu-sama," he dully replied.  
  
Zhou Yu made an odd face- which was almost comical. It was as if he tasted something very bitter. "Probably he's tasting the bile rising up to his mouth," Lu Xun thought, fighting hard to suppress a grin.  
  
"Continue," Zhou Yu said- resorting back to Japanese. He gave a slight nod and in doing so, Lu Xun got a better view of his dark crimson hair. Unfortunately, his hair was perfect as usual (much to Lu Xun's disappointment- he had been looking forward to seeing Zhou Yu's "morning" hair). Heh, talk about over-gelling.  
  
For some reason- the sight of Zhou Yu's perfect dark crimson hair triggered a flashback to the meeting earlier that afternoon. 3 bodies had been drawled over the floor during the aftermath of Adrasteia's odd mischief. Zhuge Liang, Zhou Yu, and Lu Bu. Gackt- they were forced to drag their bodies across the hallway and down the elevator. He had participated in carrying Zhuge Liang, he was pretty light though- not much trouble. It took only one other person besides him to carry Zhuge. 4 minor officers carried the fainted Zhou Yu (with a very hyper Adrasteia jumping up and down, pestering them every step of the way) while the most strongest men of the warriors carried Lu Bu. Some people took advantage of Lu Bu's heavy unconscious state by kicking and punching him. But of course- Lu Xun wasn't one of them. Heck no he was going to take the chance of Lu Bu discovering the culprits then pounding them into a pulp. Lu Bu was… and is scary both before, and now. Even in DW3 and DW2 he's scary. Scary in the video game world, and scary in physical form. Definitely do not mess with him. Definite no no. When they finally arrived at the parking lot- they laid Zhuge Liang on the backseat of Liu Bei's Mercedes car, Zhou Yu in his fancy limousine (and told the driver to drive him back to his condominium, plus not to let Adrasteia near him on a one kilometer radius), and dumped Lu Bu in a nearby alley.  
  
Lu Xun closed his eyes slightly to let the flashbacks pass by and to concentrate on the present.  
  
"There had been lots of activity in Adrasteia's computer," he said slowly. "It seems that she has been hacking into the Koei headquarters and stealing everyone's character designs."  
  
"Is mine included?" Poor guy. To be the central target of all Adrasteia's schemes. Poor guy.  
  
"Hai," Lu Xun replied. "Infact, it was your model that was downloaded first, then the next one was Zhang He."  
  
Zhou Yu's irises shrank in some medium form of panicky fear. "And for what purposes do you believe this will serve in…?"  
  
"Judging from Adrasteia's moral character, probably for another fan- yaoi CG video."  
  
Zhou Yu groaned. "Do you think we may stop her before anything deadly happens?"  
  
"Yes. It is possible. I'm already working on it now. But it will take me 24 hours"  
  
"Ok, arigatou Lu Xun-san. Contact me in 24 hours then."  
  
"Fine sir." Then Lu Xun turned off the video monitor.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Note from author: This chapter is actually shorter than what I had expected @_@ I'm too lazy to continue this chapter though. I'll stick in the remaining parts at the other chapters. Whee.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
**Update** 03/06/02: Heh, I corrected who's Lu Xun's wife was =P Yep… Sun CE's daughter… ok ok ok.. I didn't know… my bad… =P 


	6. chapter VI

Ultimate ThreeKingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth  
  
Chapter VI  
  
His flight was delayed.  
  
It had been originally set at 9 o'clock in the morning, but some rotten technical problem occurred which made the whole flight reset to 2 o'clock in the afternoon. The 5 hour delay left Lu Xun waiting restlessly in the waiting area. He didn't feel like buying anything from the shops only a couple of meters away from him- they were rather expensive of course, being located in the airport.  
  
He had tried reading his novel- but his mind seemed to be unable to concentrate. What now? Boredom. Pretty abstract paintings hung from the white walls. A sour-looking Cantonese businessman on the left corner of the room. A Russian lady with a crying baby 2 rows away from him. Two talkative middle aged women rattled on and on in a language that he couldn't quite place; some sort of southeast-Asian language but he wasn't sure which. Possibly Malay.  
  
Being rather tired of his recent state of inactivity, he took out his portable video phone and dialed.  
  
"Wai?"  
  
A young Asian man with delicate features appeared on the screen. Pony- tailed silky hair, white loose buttoned-up shirt that was a bit open on the top, long white fingers fingering a set of wooden chopsticks. Ah, Zhang He. Pretty boy number two.  
  
"Hello Zhang He, long time no see."  
  
Zhang He casually glanced at him but didn't hold his gaze too long. He resumed picking at his cup of Hainanese chicken rice and at the cold-cut chicken that came along with it.  
  
Lu Xun surveyed the backdrop that Zhang He was in. Crowded tables of people with several different types of dishes laid before them, prominently Chinese dishes. Waiters were taking orders in Mandarin, but some were talking to some American tourists- which didn't seem to comprehend what they were saying because of their thick accents. Lu Xun also overhead a mother chiding her child in what he could only decide was the Hokkien dialect; but he didn't understand what she said since his northern native dialect was completely different from these southern tongues. He stared hard at the wide window behind the diners. What immediately caught his attention were the tall skyscrapers, and the 2 different street signs along one road. Judging from all of these things, Zhang He was back at his home country –Singapore.  
  
"What is it that you want?" Zhang He questioned, his tone the usual non-chalant monotone and his eyes tinted with gray disinterest.  
  
Lu Xun attempted to smile warmly, but what came out was a mischievous smirk instead. He often pondered if the DW3 character designs were somewhat even based on their modern reincarnated counterparts. Zhang He hadn't been a pretty boy before, but in this lifetime- a pretty boy indeed; although he wasn't has effeminate as he was portrayed in the DW3 video game. What happened? Before, he was some cocky high-tempered jackass (perhaps some unpretty version of Gong Jin), but now he's this silent pretty boy that seemed that he didn't give a crap about anything. Seemed. Lu Xun smirked once again as his thoughts placed emphasis on that word. Zhang He has finally learned from his other lifetime, eh? Finally, he sees that patience and having this mask of non-chalance pays off. He has become more mysterious… but he definitely has a plan being plotted out in his mind. But what does he really care about anyway?  
  
"Aw nothing, just checking up on you," Lu Xun replied, with the smirk still on his face. He attempted to take it off and appear less… villainous but the smirk seemed frozen immobile so he gave up and it remained there.  
  
Zhang He grunted in response, while picking at his rice again.  
  
After what seemed like several hours of being ignored, Lu Xun asked, "So are you still going to send me that five hundred?" with the irremovable smirk still on his face.  
  
Zhang He grunted in response again, then drank his cup of Japanese Green Tea.  
  
"It's in American dollars, right?"  
  
For the first time, Zhang He finally seemed to be affected by his words. "I thought it was in Sing dollars."  
  
The smirking villain replied, "Of course not, why should I settle for lower currencies?"  
  
The Singaporean gave him a cold glare with his narrow black eyes. Lu Xun wondered about his irises once more… wasn't the darkest colour supposed to be dark brown, not black? But Zhang He's pupils were unidentifiable in the black depths of his eyes. He felt himself shudder a bit, although he didn't let it show clearly.  
  
"Blackmail is the lowest form of human integrity," the man said matter-of-factly between his sips of tea.  
  
"Screw integrity."  
  
"I pity you."  
  
"You're still the one videotaped."  
  
Zhang He's façade of cold neutrality diminished shortly in order to reveal his distasteful scowl.  
  
Lu Xun still couldn't help but smirk continuously throughout the conversation.  
  
"Oh very well," Zhang he said while putting his tea cup down. "I guess we might have to lower down the dollars since of our misunderstandings of the currency. I cannot pay five hundred American dollars… just for one video tape."  
  
"Five hundred American, my last offer. Want it or not?"  
  
Zhang He glared at him but then concluded, "Fine then. I'll take it."  
  
"Send it in 3 weeks time."  
  
"Fine." Zhang He gave him an intense version of the evil eye then hung up.  
  
Lu Xun was quite relieved that that was settled and that he earned his extra 500… he had never known that hidden cameras were so useful these days. And Adrasteia's existence had some good points too; everyone tries to hide away anything that might hint yaoi away from her. Lu Xun smiled. Adrasteia trying to pair up Zhou Yu and Zhang He had definitely been hilarious. What's even more interesting that they were stuck in odd situations… and it was all videotaped without Adrasteia knowing it.  
  
Lu Xun smirked.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
The videophone rang  
  
A face similar to Lu Xun's immediately popped up on the screen- although it didn't seem like him though… much too enthusiastic. If that really was Lu Xun- then something major had happened. Zhou Yu couldn't recall a time that Lu Xun had been this hyper. He hadn't shown much excitement when Zhou Yu got reunited with the RTK generals group.  
  
"Zhou Yu!!! I have big news!!" How odd. Lu Xun was now speaking in English- he rarely did that though. Plus he dropped all the "-sama" titles now and such.  
  
Lu Xun has now been acting so out of character that Gong Jin couldn't help but ask in Japanese ", Little brother, are you ok? I can't see you nor hear you that well. The phone has more static than usual and the video monitor has bad quality today."  
  
The person at the other end of the line waved it off. "I'm ok I'm ok! May I please request that you let me in? I'm right outside your condominium." Proof of that statement was shown when several knocks were heard from the door.  
  
Gong Jin raised an eyebrow. Let in…? But what would Lu Xun want from him anyway? Although Lu Xun had definitely been one of his more trusted men… aw heck, go with it. "Okay then."  
  
Zhou Yu walked across the room to the door and opened it. But since now that he got a life-size close-up version of Lu Xun, he could see that he's definitely not normal. His dyed artificial blonde-white hair seemed too fluffy… like it was a wig and he shrank about five inches. And that face… so different but yet so familiar…  
  
After a split-second inspection, Zhou Yu finally arrived at the conclusion that it was Adrasteia.  
  
He tried to slam the door as fast as he could, but Adrasteia managed to stick in a golf club before he could close it. He saw her give a slight smirk and motioned him to give up and just open the door. What? Defeat? This early? To this girl? Of course not!! Zhou Yu continued slamming the door shut- the golf club interrupted this at first before it broke. After that- he locked the door and picked up the other end of the broken golf club- he'd have to use it like a bat if he had to.  
  
A wail could be overheard from the other side of the door.  
  
"Are you crazy?!?! That's my brother's golf club!! He's gonna kill me if he notices!! Of course he'd notice! Of course he will!! Gong Jin, this is all your fault!!!" Adrasteia's aggravated complaints could be heard echoing off the hallway- even booming through the sound proof walls. She ranted some more and more and more. She even repeatedly wailed, "Let me in!!"  
  
Let her in? That crazed yaoi-obsessed pervert that always tried to pair him up with another guy?!? I already have a wife damnit!! I don't want her to think that I'm cheating on her with a GUY.  
  
After perhaps several minutes (although it seemed like hours), everything faded into silence. But it wasn't a calm silence- it was a strained silence as if something would erupt soon. Zhou Yu peeked out of the peeking hole in the door. Adrasteia was on the floor- broken and defeated. Thank god for these metal doors.  
  
Before he was even aware of it- there was this sudden explosion and debris of wood and metal parts flew across the room. Gong Jin raised his arms to shield himself from the dust and all.  
  
There was a cough, a hack, and a gray annoyed face.  
  
Adrasteia.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Note from author: Aye. Sorry for not writing for so long . Too much evil homework… and much procrastinating along with it… MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. More fics would pop up soon. Any comments? XD 


	7. chapter VII

Ultimate ThreeKingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth  
  
Chapter VII  
  
"A-Adrasteia!! What the hell did you do with my door?!?!"  
  
"Gong Jin!! What the hell did you do to the golf club?!?!"  
  
The former gave a long, tired exhausted sigh and dropped his end of the broken golf club. He gave up. No matter how many security procedures they had to go through- the gal always ended up annoying him in the end anyways. Zhou Yu fell on the couch with the impression that his body was made out of lead. Especially his eyelids.  
  
Adrasteia also gave her version of a sigh- although he didn't see what she really has gotten all upset about. Jesus, it was just a golf club. Golf- a very pointless game. They hit a ball with a metal stick so that it would go into a hole. It was just a stick, really. A very expensive stick but still a stick nonetheless. But what she broke was his god forsaken door damnit!! The door- the key thing to privacy, security, and all those other crap. Of course, anything hurled at Adrasteia was doomed to be ineffective but he now had a huge hole in the wall where anyone can just bust in.  
  
"But look what you did to my door!! Multitudes of fans and insane people will swarm in!!"  
  
The girl snorted. "As if anyone else is as fanatic enough to track you down all the time. You keep a very low profile and move around a lot these days."  
  
Zhou Yu sighed once more. She clearly wasn't getting the point.  
  
"See, but look what you have done to the golf club!" she wailed again. "You'll pay for this!!"  
  
"You'll pay for my door too. Ha, what should I do now? It is as if there is this neon billboard flashing the message 'Open house! Feel free to come in and rob!'"  
  
Adrasteia rolled her eyes. "Despite how cool and handsome you are- you have a deteriorating memory now, ne?"  
  
He couldn't decide whether to be flattered or to be afraid by the first two comments. And how dare she be so disrespectful to her idol? Obsessive fans were supposed to think that their idols are perfect! Gong Jin started ignoring several more useless questions floating around his head about her puzzling nature and replied, "I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
The girl rolled her eyes again. "Remember 3 months ago that you had gotten a 10-cm thick metal door installed? Remember? It slides up and down, remote control operated? Remember?? It was meant to keep me away and it was considered to be one of those secret new installations? Remember?!?"  
  
Zhou Yu pondered for a moment then finally remembered it. Lu Xun actually suggested it at first. But he never used it since it was quite unneeded and some specific claustrophobic guests wouldn't be too happy with the new display addition. Plus, he never told anyone about it… but then, how did Adrasteia know of it's existence…?  
  
He first narrowed his eyes and stared at her suspiciously, then in slight anger "You had been breaking into the security files again!"  
  
Adrasteia's hands made a waving off motion. "Yea yea yea… of course… I would do anything to be with my Zhou Yu!!" and gave a big wide smile- which teetered on the verge of sanity.  
  
Zhou Yu shuddered involuntarily then got up from the couch. His head felt heavy. Too many problems to be dealt with, too much burden. Why wouldn't this ever end..?  
  
His bare feet took him to the end of the kitchen, then he opened a specific drawer, and took out the remote control for the sliding metal door. He turned around and walked back to the door. While observing the aftermath, he noted that the frame of the door was still intact- although the whole wall was cracked and a bit of light from the other side streamed in like some sort of tiny parody gateway to heaven. He sighed and pressed a button on the remote control. The thick heavy metal door slowly descended down- landing down with a startling boom. He feared that the neighbours downstairs might leave messages on his answering machine again- he had received floods of complaints already. Nah, screw them. This is an emergency situation anyway. They don't have a psychopathic Canadian teenager dragging him off to be the unwilling star of several male x male porno movies. Gong Jin and looked up to observe the full length of the metal door. It had done the trick- covered that big ex-door hole in the wall. Although, it looked like it was a door for a prison cell once- he didn't feel comfortable with that considering his current situation.  
  
Zhou Yu glanced at the smirking girl that would be playing the role of the prison guard if the odd simulation were actually taking place.  
  
"See? I was right!" the girl squealed. A new and far more affective door, ne? You didn't know that at first now, did ya? I saved your livelihood! Don't you think I deserve a hug?" Adrasteia gave one of her insane big smiles once again and stretched out her arms towards him.  
  
Zhou Yu looked at her oddly. "How about… no?"  
  
The girl gave a disappointed face but it seemed like she was expecting it anyways. Her face lit up again and gave the traditional fangirl squeal. "I can't believe I'm in Zhou Yu's condominium!!" She shuffled over to the kitchen refrigerator (while snatching several things along the way- like the double-A batteries lying around on the table).  
  
Zhou Yu flung himself back on the couch again. He dozed off for a moment before he heard Adrasteia's dangerously loud slamming of the refrigerator door. He groaned as he saw her place several slices of those ready-made pizzas on a plate- which she put in a microwave and set it on for five minutes. She spun around and gave him that insanely wide smile again. Then, she shuffled over to the direction of his room.  
  
Gong Jin's weary eyes closed for a while until he heard the loud beep of the microwave. A very excited Adrasteia rushed over to the kitchen again (with things that appeared to be his clothes in her hands) and took out her pizza.  
  
Zhou Yu got up again very slowly- his head still throbbed ever since yesterday. He massaged his head for a moment and squinted at the odd girl.  
  
"Hey, you're not going to auction off my clothes again on Ebay now, are you?"  
  
The girl (while chewing on a slice of pizza) replied "I'm not exactly selling them… it's more like donating them."  
  
Gong Jin snorted. "Like people would like my 'donated' boxers, eh?"  
  
Adrasteia made the annoying waving-off motion again. "So what? Where do you think I get my money to support my frequent plane trips? Most of the yaoi movies that I direct don't sell all too well. I wonder what pairings the public wants."  
  
Zhou Yu gave another involuntary shudder, recalling what almost happened with him and Zhang He. Damn that Adrasteia.  
  
"-I usually sell off your shirts and jackets," the girl continued. "Some specific items are better off in the museum or in my hands."  
  
Zhou Yu shuddered once more. Shuddering too much is not healthy. Definitely.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Boredom.  
  
Lu Xun yawned and stretched out his legs. Urgh. One more hour to go. He glanced around the waiting room once more and noted that several more people streamed in during his last nap. The room was now about three- quarters full and thankfully didn't have too much noisy children. He kept on looking around in boredom until he came across a very attractive woman with long silky black hair. Lu Xun carefully noted that she was reading the last volume of the Romance of the Three Kingdoms books.  
  
She now has to be a definite fan to get through that much he thought. Many people didn't finish the last 20 or so chapters since all of the old generals died and idiots replaced them, but she showed no sign of stopping.  
  
He glanced at himself in the mirror the covered the full length of the four sided-column in front of him. Hmm. White-blond dyed hair. White cargo pants. Slim build. Sleeveless orange shirt that revealed that his exhausted days at the gym paid off for the muscle in his arms. His strange glasses that always glinted an eerie turquoise for some odd reason… Yep, not too bad.  
  
He got up, walked over to the woman and sat right beside her. She didn't seem to be aware of his presence for some time so he took advantage of the opportunity to study her. Her dark seemingly black eyes scanned through the translated English words of the book at an alarming rate and the way she flipped the pages with her long delicate hands had a simple elegance to them. Her face was a pale paper-white and was shrouded in over- indifference. The lack of emotion merely intrigued Lu Xun than bored him.  
  
He laid his fingers on her shoulder, hoping to get her attention. It worked. She looked at him with her dark sharp eyes that seemed to have this quick equally sharp intelligence behind it.  
  
He gave her his most charming smile and whispered in his unaccented English, "Do you believe in reincarnation?"  
  
"Yes," she replied, but the sharpness in her eyes dulled a bit into something similar to disinterest.  
  
"Do you believe that you're looking at a reincarnated RTK general right now?" he smiled- although he couldn't help looking a bit mischievous. "Do you believe that you are looking at Lu Xun right now?" The name 'Lu Xun' gave this odd chilling ring- it always happened whenever someone spoke the name of his or her previous life for some reason or another. It was the universal ring that everyone knew and understood. The ring of truth.  
  
She looked at him and her expression did not change. "So Lu Xun, do you believe that you are looking at a reincarnated RTK general right now?"  
  
His eyes widened. "B-but… all the generals back then were males! Women were not officially allowed!! And you're… you're female!"  
  
The woman smiled- but it was not a warm smile, it was a more mocking one. Then she whispered in his ear, "Female in this lifetime."  
  
"T-that's imp-possible!" he stuttered in denial. "We're all the same gender as we were before."  
  
Her smile grew wider and more mocking. "Well, I am living proof that it is not a fact."  
  
"S-so… who were you back then?"  
  
"Guo Jia."  
  
The name also gave the eerie ring, which confirmed Lu Xun's worst fears. Lu Xun shuddered. But it isn't his fault. Guo Jia was stuck in a hot girl's body, how was he supposed to know?  
  
"So I assume that you're not going to ask me out anymore, hmm?" she (or he) said while smirking.  
  
Oh gawd, hell no.  
  
"Well," she reached out her right hand to clasp the stunned man's and gave a handshake. "Pleasure to meet you. I had heard much about you but never had the opportunity to meet you."  
  
"G-guo Jia…"  
  
"Still can't get over that fact now, can you? I believe that you must think twice before trying to get laid."  
  
He pondered over the disturbing event then said "So… are you looking for Cao Cao now?"  
  
"Yes," she said, with the indifference in her tone settling back.  
  
"You know," Lu Xun smirked, "Cao Cao's ex-wives and ex-concubines doesn't want to get back with him again in this lifetime. So he is single right now."  
  
Her eyes widened. "Really?"  
  
Lu Xun tried hard to suppress his laugh. Apparently, Guo Jia did not get the point that he made.  
  
She read for a few more minutes and asked silently, "Where is he now?"  
  
Lu Xun raised an eyebrow. "In Paris I believe."  
  
"Where does he live?"  
  
"I'm afraid that I cannot disclose that information to outsiders of the RTK corporation ma'am," and put much emphasis on the last word.  
  
She sighed and said, "Fine, can you please give him my cellphone number?" and gave him a card with all sorts of contact information on it.  
  
Lu Xun took it. "Sure thing," he yawned.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Note from author: Whee… 2:30 in the morning right now… fun fun fun middle- of-the night ficcies, ne? ^_~ Yes, Guo Jia is female. Surprise surprise surprise! Sorry, I just couldn't help not playing with that idea . Hope no one gets offended . Feel to email me at adrasteia_rebirth@hotmail.com for criticisms, flames, praises (**wink** **wink**) etc. I need to know what you people think about my ficcies in detail =P 


	8. chapter VIII

Ultimate ThreeKingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth  
  
Chapter VIII  
  
The liquid mass of darkness surrounding him rippled as he waded through the inky blackness. There was nothing but that darkness. No land, no surface for everything was just that liquid blackness.  
  
Air was not something his lungs craved for. Breathing was unnecessary. Instead, he felt an urge to go somewhere. The more thicker substance of the darkness gathered behind him, lightly pushing his back towards more never ending darkness like a parent looking over a child taking it's first few steps.  
  
Though the darkness gave him direction in motion, he still felt lost and confused. There was no guiding light, only the current behind him.  
  
Go. The darkness whispered in encouragement. Go. Go. Go.  
  
Everything was slow since movement was slower in water. He observed how slowly his hand waved to part off the darkness, yet to just reveal more darkness. He calmly observed the little wisps of even darker inkiness dart from here to there like little fish.  
  
Wisps of the darkest black and dark gray flowed around him. It was all the same, gray and black until he caught that wisp of white.  
  
It was gone in a blink of an eye.  
  
He threw himself against the darkness and began frantically ripping it to find that same white wisp. He knew what it was. No, who it is.  
  
Sun Ce.  
  
He ripped, tore, and slashed away at the darkness in front of him. "BROTHER!!" he screamed – but the deep waters muffled his voice but yet it echoed through inexistent walls.  
  
"BROTHER!" he shrieked again. No, NO!! They had been separated long enough- he can't just disappear like that!!! That would never happen!! He would never let that happen once more….  
  
He pounded his curled up fists against the waters. He held his fist so tightly that he could see crimson streaks float side by side with those gray and black wisps now. Perhaps tears flowed out of his eyes, it was impossible to tell since he was surrounded by the dark liquid- making everything unidentifiable. He pounded and pounded, panic clawing it's fingernails deep into him until his fists poured out tails of more crimson.  
  
He stopped pounding because he knew it didn't make a difference. But how can he just give up? He desperately wanted to be united with Sun Ce once again. Life had a void with no known depth. He lived because he had to. But it's all so meaningless. One random memorable shallow pleasure after another, with the deep everlasting loneliness and sadness that filled in the gaps. It had always been like that. His life was meaningless. Sun Ce had been his guide- the leader that he followed. The leader that made his life worth living. But he died so soon, so soon. He sobbed uncontrollably- his body shaking with every emotion that he experienced.  
  
No… He whispered. Don't leave me. Don't…. His fists uncurled to reveal crippled bloody exhausted fingers. More tails of blood followed his hand's movements.  
  
Please… brother…  
  
Then he felt a presence beside him. He turned around and saw the white wisp- which actually looked like Sun Ce during his younger healthier years. Sun Ce smiled at him like some sort of guardian angel.  
  
He looked straight at Sun Ce in disbelief. You had come… brother?  
  
The Sun Ce just tilted his head to one side and smiled kindly. Sun Ce lifted a delicate finger up and brushed a tear away off his cheek, even though the action was more of one of affection than having the usual purpose of the action itself.  
  
He smiled weakly at Sun Ce. How humane he has.  
  
"Will you take me with you?" he whispered to the one bathed in that holy white light.  
  
Sun Ce continued smiling, not saying anything. His smile became more sympathetic… then slightly apologetic.  
  
No. Please, no. Take me with you.  
  
Sun Ce turned around slowly as if he was going to float away once more.  
  
NO!!! PLEASE!! DON'T!!! Don't leave me again-  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Glass cracked.  
  
Zhou Yu was jolted awake from his dream. Was it a dream, really? Maybe it was a vision? He still couldn't get himself into the present- where Sun Ce wasn't in it.  
  
"… Sun Ce," he whispered.  
  
Another crack of class followed the previous one- which succeeded in making Zhou Yu's eyes open wide awake. He was in the living room lying on the sofa, ah. He turned his gaze around to the direction of the kitchen- where several shards of glass were scattered on the floor.  
  
Gong Jin groaned. That damned Adrasteia.  
  
Before he knew it, she ran frantically towards his direction then plopped herself on the sofa that he was lying down in.  
  
She beamed with the usual hyperactivity, even considering that it was approximately 2:05 in the morning right now as the digital clock on the table claimed.  
  
"What do you want?" he mumbled sleepily.  
  
"I heard you say Sun Ce's name, several times actually," she exclaimed. Then her expression suddenly turned serious and mourning. "Were… were you dreaming about him?"  
  
Zhou Yu gave a small nod, even though he was pretty shocked that the girl really cared about him and not just about his potential yaoi partners. "I… I think about him a lot, actually," he whispered again. He knew that it wasn't necessary to tell about this more information but she had the right to know.  
  
There was a calm sad silence – which was immediately broken by Adrasteia's sudden comment.  
  
"So was the whole thing really sweaty? And hot?"  
  
Zhou Yu looked at her oddly. "What?!?"  
  
Adrasteia gave a series of waves and meaningless gestures. "About the dream, silly."  
  
He sighed once more. He had overestimated her once more. "My dreams are of nothing like that sort."  
  
The girl pouted. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes I am."  
  
"You're just not willing to admit it!!"  
  
"I DON'T HAVE SEXUAL INTERESTS TOWARDS SUN CE!!!"  
  
Adrasteia gave another pouty frown that had irritation mixed in with it. "Then what other type of dream would require you to shout his name, huh? Of course it only can be you and him having se- "  
  
He lifted his hand up to his forehead and groaned once more. She had extremely screwed up logic. Definitely.  
  
Adrasteia gave her usual trademark impossibly wide smile that teetered on the verge of insanity. "You love him, don't you?" then tilted her head to one side.  
  
"Love and sexual desire are two different things!!! Leave me alone and let me sleep!!"  
  
"Aha! So you're admitting that you're inlove with him!!"  
  
"I did not say anything!!! How the hell did you reach that conclusion?!?!?!"  
  
"…"  
  
Gong Jin directed his attention back to the kitchen- which still had several shards of what seemed to be the remains of several glasses. "Adrasteia, what did you do to my glasses?"  
  
She sweatdropped and attempted to put up an innocent smile. "I was going to get some water but the water flow that came out of your water filter was exceedingly strong- I'm betting that Zhuge Liang jinxed it or something… then of course- the glass fell and I attempted it with another one but it ended up with the same fate…"  
  
Zhou Yu gave her an exasperated glare. He just felt like a babysitter when he was around with her. "Just clean any mess you made, ok? And stop stealing my stuff!!"  
  
"I didn't steal anything!" was the innocent reply of the one with bulging pockets.  
  
Gong Jin gave another exasperated sigh. "Just sleep for now. Why are you so hyper in the middle of the night??"  
  
"I don't know… nocturnal I guess."  
  
"But you're hyper all day long. Can you just sleep so you won't make anymore noises? Why not give your idol a bit of a break here?"  
  
"So you can sleep and be doing it with Sun Ce in your dreams again?"  
  
"Shut up. Just sleep."  
  
"Can I sleep on this couch?"  
  
"Hell no, get as far as possible from me."  
  
"But I wanna observe your reactions to your erotic dreams!!"  
  
"I DON'T HAVE EROTIC DREAMS!!! JUST SLEEP IN THE OTHER ROOM!!!"  
  
"Can I sleep in your bed?"  
  
"Sure, just don't bother me anymore and don't steal my sheets. Stop auctioning off my stuff!!"  
  
"………. I really make no guarantees but I shall go to your bedroom now. Ja!" then she hopped off to his bedroom.  
  
He let out another exasperated sigh, but despite the extra amount of stress that he had received, his eyes were still heavy with fatigue. Zhou Yu closed his eyes then was surrounded by that ocean of inky darkness once more…  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
He looked out of the window and into the never-ending darkness beyond. After staring at it for approximately 5 minutes, Lu Xun concluded that nothing was interesting in the night skies then turned towards his left instead.  
  
There she was, Guo Jia.  
  
Coincidentally, they had seats right beside each other. Business class was not all too crowded, but the seats weren't too far apart either. He had to endure torture during the past 7 hours that he had been on this flight. His appetite was lost due to the unusual situation that he encountered with Guo Jia. Lu Xun couldn't concentrate enough to watch a movie, and was also too restless to sleep.  
  
Whereas the attractive woman (or Guo Jia) beside him continued reading the Three Kingdoms book, then she finished it in a matter of a few moments and dozed off to sleep.  
  
Gawd, she looked so peaceful. She looked more delicate when she wasn't conscious because the grip of indifference loosened up a little. Her sharp eyes were hidden away by the sweet innocence of her eyelids and her sharp sarcastic tongue was silenced by the tender fullness of her lips.  
  
Lu Xun mentally slapped himself several times. You're talking about Guo Jia here!! An RTK geezer that served Cao Cao!!! He's like the Wei's Zhuge Liang!!!!  
  
He unsuccessfully attempted to pry his eyes away from her. He tried visioning Zhuge Liang inside that female's body inorder to get himself disgusted. Zhuge Liang in that body was just horrifying, but Guo Jia was a different matter altogether.  
  
While giving her several more quick glances (although he couldn't help but notice the feminine curvature of her body), the plane tipped slightly over to the right and so Guo Jia's head tipped on to Lu Xun's shoulder.  
  
That attractive woman's head was resting on his shoulder.  
  
Lu Xun closed his eyes tight and prayed that he was just imagining it. When he opened them- fortunately or unfortunately, her head was really on his left shoulder and he could smell the slight scent of flowers of her silky black hair which flowed in between them.  
  
This time, he just really couldn't help it.  
  
Lu Xun leaned a bit closer to her and ran his fingers through the silky lengths of her hair.  
  
It doesn't matter, she's still sleeping.  
  
He even placed a gentle hand on her cheek- something that he would have definitely never had the guts to do had she been awake.  
  
For quite some time, he relaxed in that very same position- but then bolted up in panic when he saw her narrow eyes slit open, glaring at him in angry suspicion.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -  
  
Note from author: Yay!! A ficcy at last!! Sorry people, I had so many projects and I have one due Tuesday and I haven't even started!! AHHHHHHH!!! Entertain yourselves here cuz no ficcys for another length of time I thinkeths. Heh, it seems that the Guo Jia idea that I had been playing around with wasn't much too popular, but it's a really interesting thing to me ^^; Anybody liked it? Sorry if this ficcy sounded a bit too well… random and meaningless but I assure you that the following chapters will have more stable plot lines. Oh c'mon, email me at adrasteia_rebirth@hotmail.com - feel free to flame as long as you give proper back up to your beefs. I actually would prefer more criticisms to praise- so criticize the hell outta this fic cuz I really want to improve my writing ^_______________^ 


	9. chapter IX

Ultimate ThreeKingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth  
  
Chapter IX  
  
He dully watched bags and luggage get tossed on a slowly rotating belt. Like usual, his bags weren't the first ones out… they were usually the last ones.  
  
Black bag, brown box, red backpack…  
  
His eyes wandered down the carpeted floor then up a wall with a full length-mirror placed on it. Odd square eye glasses, dyed blonde hair, and a huge bruise on his left cheek.  
  
Lu Xun sighed as he rubbed the swollen side of his face, wincing as he felt his nerve endings scream in pain. His hand slowly dropped back down to his side as his eyes glazed over, recollecting the previous events.  
  
I really shouldn't have done that to her…  
  
Fingers combing through silky strands of hair that flowed like a deep black ocean… revealing the depths like a curtain opening… where soft pale skin lies… so soft…  
  
Dark brown eyes shot wide open in alarm. He shook his head as if to rid of the thoughts. Was he really that perverted? Fine, he had rather immoral thoughts at times that were godforsakenly occasionally about Gan Ning… but he had never acted upon any of his thoughts nor feelings. Never. And yet… and yet….  
  
Lu Xun scanned the area for a hint of pale skin and silky black hair, both looking forward to and dreading it's presence. Fortunately or unfortunately, there was no one that even closely fit the description.  
  
Sighing, he slumped on the wall behind him, still gazing inattentively at the moving bags and baggage on the belt.  
  
What the hell was he exactly thinking? Of course he couldn't blame Guo Jia for throwing that ridiculously thick RTK book at him and demanding the attendant for another seat. Unfortunately, there wasn't one available since the plane had been crammed in all classes… which lead him to endure her angry silence for the rest of the flight. She had nudged as far away as possible from him to the point that it seemed that they could easily place 2 grown men right between them. Even though they had been physically as far from each other as possible on the rest of the flight, he could sense her outrage like a swift flooding current whose sole purpose was to choke any air out of him.  
  
Lu Xun snapped back to the present again and looked at the clock on the wall. Ten minutes has passed. Damn you boy, stop daydreaming.  
  
He found that all of his baggages were rotating slowly in the carousel on the side farthest away from him. Lu Xun cursed under his breath, grabbing the nearest cart then skidded over around the carousel, swiftly grabbing his bags.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
"I assure you that it works just fine," the bored looking young lady on the counter said rather in a middle of a yawn. "Except that the CD player is not working properly, is that ok- sir?"  
  
"I'll take it," Lu Xun replied casually.  
  
"- so that would be-" and she proceeded to tell price of the to-be rented car although Lu Xun did not exactly hear quite clearly since he was gulping down another glass of water along with another Tylenol pill. Lu Xun replied by tossing his credit card at her. He frankly didn't care about anything anymore except for stopping that crazed Adrasteia from making any more yaoi videos as soon as possible. She already screwed his reputation pretty badly already, so if he received anymore… well… he as well might as be under 50 kilometers of dog crap.  
  
The lady tossed him the keys to the SUV and yawned once more.  
  
He immediately proceeded to the parking lot- scanning for a lone solitary red SUV. Lu Xun spotted the license plate, double-checked to see if he really had the right one then grinned. British Columbia. Who knew one day he would willingly visit Adrasteia?  
  
Rubbing his hands together- partly because of the sudden climate jump from Hong Kong to Vancouver, hopped into the car with no hesitation, and started the ignition.  
  
The CD player was definitely broken, but that damn woman didn't even specifically say what was wrong with it. He had presumed that it didn't work (although he didn't bring any CDs anyhow so he frankly didn't care…) but it was the complete opposite. When the car started, a song immediately boomed in the volume of full blast. With ringing ears, he had to lower the freaking volume down- which quieted to something a bit more tolerable although it wouldn't mute completely. Lu Xun attempted to turn off the CD player, or switch it to radio- but to no avail.  
  
He sighed at his misfortune and drove out of the parking lot, and into the streets of Vancouver. It is refreshing to finally drive on the right side of the road again. The sun beamed down through the window- which only magnified it. He made the mistake of lowering down the window but then his prickly skin immediately alerted him that the freezing wind completely contrasted the burning sun. The Shanghainese cursed as he rolled the window back up. Damn screwed climate.  
  
Lu Xun continued cruising along the streets which were all lined with buildings and sky scrapers alike. When his ear stopped ringing from the previous sudden blast of noise from the CD, he could actually hear the song properly now. It was a bit annoying… with the quite cheesy dance-techno music and all. He had attempted to switch it to another song since he couldn't eject the CD either, but then it was stuck with repeating this track over and over again. It seemed that the same person that jammed the damn CD in the first place left the jewel case underneath the seat- which had "Garbage- Version 2.0" clearly labeled on the CD jacket.  
  
"What a suitable name for that band" he thought in annoyance. Ah… Track one: Temptation Awaits. He groaned and reached out for the water bottle and for the Tylenol container.  
  
After several minutes of enduring the repeating of the song over and over again, he didn't think that it was quite bad at all. It was fairly ok, albeit a bit too cheesy. The only thing that troubled him was the lyrics…  
  
You come on like a drug  
  
I just can't get enough  
  
I'm like an addict coming at you for a little more…  
  
…  
  
And there's so much at stake  
  
I can't afford to waste  
  
I never needed anybody like this before…  
  
The lyrics were a horrible cruel silly parody of the mess that he had been placed in. Mix that with the dance music and you've got the worst thing repeating over and over again. Lu Xun groaned and gulped down another pill of Tylenol.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Lu Xun drove down the roads of Vancouver until he came to a dull white-gray building and pulled over, walked inside the building, then pounded on the door of apartment 17.  
  
"Open the door, Adrasteia!" he shouted! "Open the door right now! Or else I will force myself in!!!"  
  
No reply.  
  
"…Adrasteia?"  
  
There was nothing. Not even a little scuttling sound of footsteps running frantically. Nothing at all.  
  
He didn't know whether to be worried or annoyed, but he would do the same thing anyhow. Lu Xun walked backwards for a couple of paces, then slammed himself against the door again and again continually… until he broke the lock.  
  
The door swung open freely as little bits of wood and dust gently rained upon him. What was shown before him was an empty cluttered apartment. Lu Xun scanned the room for any signs of life, which he didn't notice any except for a rather lonely guinea pig cooped up at a cage beside the computer.  
  
He walked towards the computer, with his footsteps echoing through the hollow room. The computer was turned on and filled with cluttered pop up windows and open programs. One of them showed what seemed to be a live camera view of Zhou Yu's living room, looking down at the couch where poor little fatigued Gong Jin was lying down on.  
  
Shit. So she had been taking video footage of us all along.  
  
A little pop up message announced itself when Lu Xun tried to move the mouse.  
  
"Konnichiwa, Lu Xun-san. Welcome to my humble little apartment, feel free to use my digital camera to take pictures of yourself in hentai style then upload it on to my computer-" Lu Xun scowled at this part, damn- this girl never gives him a break. "- I'm just joking Lu Xun-san! But seriously, you really can do that…" Pfffffft… which is never. "I am sorry to tell you that I am not in Canada right now… I am in Hong Kong currently as you will probably see me darting by the hidden camera in Zhou Yu's living room ^_^ Have fun in Vancouver, and by the way, did you like the Garbage CD that I placed specially for you on that red SUV?"  
  
Lu Xun growled at this. So that damn girl had been expecting this all along, huh? Wasted plane ticket. Definite waste. So what is he supposed to do now?  
  
…wait… but that girl is just psycho… not a genius… she is actually rather clumsy and ignorant…  
  
Lu Xun walked towards the refridgerator and snatched a note which was originally attached to it.  
  
"LU XUN X GAN NING YAOI VIDEO FINAL CONFERENCE IN PARIS, FRANCE. MEET AT-"  
  
The message proceeded to tell of the date, time, and specific location of the meeting. Lu Xun's eyebrow twitched in severe irritation and crumpled the little piece of paper.  
  
Shit. So his time here at Vancouver was all for nothing. So what now? Paris? That would eat up several more thousand dollars but oh hell… anything to stop a Gan Ning x Lu Xun pairing!!! What the hell is that girl thinking in the first place?!?!?!  
  
So what now? He probably couldn't take down those damn yaoi people all by himself. Plus his French was rather crappy to survive with. So… get someone that could be a free translator? Someone that would tag along… someone that also will care about stopping Adrasteia?!?  
  
Lu Xun took his cellphone out of his pocket and dialed the phone number of the person most suitable for this job.  
  
Gan Ning.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Note from author 04/09/02: Whew. This chapter was hard to write. Definite writer's blockage kicking in. Yea… it's quite noticeable that I didn't get much inspiration for this chapter… yep… the quality has degraded but oh well =P I'll try to write more chapters. Anyways, feel free to AIM me… my AIM sn is adrasteiarebirth … that's kinda easy to remember ^_- I'm usually bored stiff on AIM so message me XD  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
**Update** Actually… this is not an update… I am only writing this a few minutes after I had uploaded this chapter for the first time… I wanna give some more additional rantings so… yea =P No, I am not dissing Garbage!! I like that band!! I AM a fan!! It's just Lu Xun's odd little thoughts, that's all! Anyways, so… what to expect of latter chapters? Let's go and check out the pattern of my odd little ficcies first…  
  
Chapters 1-3: Silly little stuff ^_^  
  
Chapters 4-9… erm… yea…: Not as silly, a bit more plot is involved although still not much, more descriptions… etc.  
  
Chapters 10- and after…?: All I've got to say that it's just more things like chapters 4-9 – which are not really silly nor very serious at all =P The ficcy shall be doing a bit more serious drama/tragedy sooner or later. More later actually. It would become well… more supernatural-oriented… yea… **X-files music starts playing** Ooo… eerie @_@ Just try it out anyways. I don't exactly have the plot in paper (since the plot is practically non- existent) so I can change anything anytime I want ^_^ Tell me what you people think of my ficcy in specific ~~detail~~ ((see the stressed word)). I will work very very very hard if I know what my readers (if I have any…) are thinking!!! 'K, must do homework now! Cya! =P 


	10. chapter X

Ultimate ThreeKingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth  
  
Chapter X  
  
Lu Xun gazed out into the pitch black sky, sighing in fatigue as he slumped into his seat. Another flight just right after one…  
  
The person on the seat beside him on the other hand was constantly switching positions in hope to find a somewhat-comfortable position on the cramped seat. The person seemed to have given up and settled for a somewhat odd-looking tangle of limbs.  
  
"So…" the light brown skinned man pondered, with his hand on his mouth trying to sort out the confusion. "Let me get this straight… you fly from Hong Kong to Canada, hit on Guo Jia along the way, then when the sun has not even set you immediately took a flight here with me to Paris in order to….?"  
  
"- to stop Adrasteia from completing her yaoi video," Lu Xun stated in a tired monotone voice ,"which features us just basically during lewd erotic things."  
  
"……… to each other?"  
  
"Yes. That is why I think that you will take great interest in stopping her."  
  
Gan Ning thought about this for a while, his eyes narrowing down together in an almost comedic fashion. "…. I find that very disturbing but what about you and Guo Jia? Did you sleep with him?"  
  
"Her. Different lifetime, different gender. No, I did not sleep with her."  
  
"Lu Xun … ex-strategist for Wu declaring his sexual attraction for Guo Jia of Wei….. now you Cao Cao, will you give your consent to this sexual intercourse?"  
  
Lu Xun gave him a deadly glare that signaled potential maiming if only he had some sort of weapon handy right now. Fortunately for Gan Ning, due to the recent terrorist events- now the airlines only gave out little plastic knifes and forks that couldn't even cut into the dry cold meat properly.  
  
Gan Ning gave a small nervous laugh and instantly looked away, which left Lu Xun still staring at the back of the relatively light shirt that his companion was wearing.  
  
"You used to be naive and innocent-" Lu Xun overheard Gan Ning muttering, although the message didn't seem to be really meant for him after all.  
  
"I was a war strategist. How the hell do you expect me to be innocent?"  
  
"You're not innocent in the terms of war but then you're just like a wide-eyed duckling when it comes to other things."  
  
"Such as?"  
  
"People relations in general. You thought yourself as a pervert when you just TOUCHED GUO JAI'S CHEEK FOR CRYING OUT LOUD."  
  
Lu Xun gave an uncharacteristic slight roll of the eyes. "But if you keep in mind that she really is Guo Jia… it's really an altogether different matter…"  
  
"True true," Gan Ning agreed. "Hot body but possesses a guy's mind. What ever you do to the hot body the guy will feel it." Gan Ning gave a shudder. "I suggest you leave Guo Jia alone."  
  
Lu Xun looked out of the window. "But you've never seen her before… you have never seen what she is like…" Then his words faded into silence as he watched the sole blinking red light on the airplane's wing, the only thing that contrasted against the pitch black nothingness beyond.  
  
A long uneasy silence followed, which was broke by Gan Ning's voice which showed layers of unabashed disgust and disapproval.  
  
"Tell me you're not inlove with her."  
  
"But I am."  
  
"God that's sick."  
  
"I can't help it."  
  
"You want to get Guo Jia laid."  
  
"Indeed I do."  
  
Gan Ning made a comical warped face of more disgust and put on his headphones while announcing at the same time "This is just simply too much yaoi talk for one day…"  
  
Lu Xun drowsily nodded along although he was not really listening, then went to a gradual sleep.  
  
Gan Ning attempted to sleep as well but it didn't seem that he could adapt his inner clock as well as Lu Xun. He boringly glanced at the movie screen which featured something that he already have seen at least 5 times.  
  
He shuffled some more around his seat but insomnia seemed to have taken hold of him. Gan Ning glared at the peacefully sleeping Lu Xun jealously. How damn relaxed he always appeared to be…  
  
He glanced at his watch (looked exactly like Rolex but it was really a fake model that could be bought at around 10 Canadian dollars) which was still set in Pacific Standard Time. Crap. Seven more hours to go.  
  
Gan Ning looked around once more and sighed, unknowingly drifting into an uneasy sleep.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Note from the author: OMNIGOSH I ACTUALLY FINISHED THIS CHAPTER XD. Sorry if it's a bit short (wait.. not a bit… more like REALLY short). Sorry, I had gotten writer's block and I'm fighting against it!! I SHALL FIGHT TO THE VERY DEATH FOR THE GLORY OF YAOI-… ehhh? Did I say that? Oh! I meant for the happiness of my readers! Yes! Oh yea, I meant that! ^^; It's a happy May 9 2002 right now at around one o'clock in the morning.. yes… tomorrow is Thursday (or today.. depends on how you look at it) and I have school early tomorrow… and that is exactly why I should be leaving now. Jaa! 


	11. Chapter 11

Ultimate ThreeKingdoms Parody by Adrasteia Rebirth  
  
Chapter 11:  
  
Cars shrieked as they rushed through the wide main road, while Gan Ning and Lu Xun waved, whistled, and did the hitchhiker sign for hopes of catching a cab. The tall gray skyscrapers loomed upon them, almost like watching their every move- ridiculing the span of time that had already elapsed. Gan Ning ran frantically back and forth, up and down the road, just to find out that all the cabs were occupied or the drivers were on a break.  
  
When finally an available cab drove towards them, the driver unrolled his window down, and said something to Gan Ning. Gan Ning hesitantly said something in a broken mangled version of French, which the driver asked him to repeat again.  
  
Lu Xun noticed this and frowned disapprovingly. Wasn't Gan Ning's purpose here is to be a translator..?  
  
The shorter Lu Xun approached the 2 men, and said something in far more fluent French than Gan Ning. The tanned man turned around to face Lu Xun, looking at him with such surprise.  
  
Hence, Lu Xun fixed everything up with the cab driver and hurriedly got into the backseat, with Gan Ning just following behind him.  
  
Gan Ning stared out of the window, and at the European life all around him; not because that he was really interested.. more like so Lu Xun wouldn't have to bring anything up-  
  
"-I thought that you were Canadian." Lu Xun flatly said, not looking at him.  
  
"I am a Canadian citizen," Gan Ning replied.  
  
"But aren't you all supposed to know French..?"  
  
"I'm from British Columbia, not Quebec," snapped Gan Ning.  
  
Lu Xun finally turned around to face him, his turquoise tinted glasses reflecting Gan Ning's face. "I thought that you took French for your language in high school.."  
  
"I did."  
  
"Did you study?"  
  
"Not the textbooks, I used those tapes that were supposed to be played while I'm sleepin'…"  
  
Lu Xun rolled his eyes, a very uncharacteristic thing for him to do… for it was suited for someone more like less mature adolescent. The Shanghainese sharply replied "Those don't work. When deep in REM sleep, the senses are not able to sense stimulation as mild as that."  
  
Gan Ning gave a sheepish look, gave a careless shrug, then slumped over the brown cab seat.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
Lu Xun and Gan Ning stared at the abandoned warehouse.  
  
Gan Ning looked at it skeptically. "Soo… is this really the place that they were planning to meet in..?"  
  
Lu Xun raised his eyebrows a bit, his own far more subtle version of a shrug. "I do believe so… it had been stuck on Adrasteia's fridge for a purpose.."  
  
"But how are you so sure that she's not settin us up?"  
  
"She hadn't been annoying you much, hasn't she? If only you knew her character… she's perverted. Childish. Mischievous. But not manipulative."  
  
Gan Ning shrugged. "Soooo.. we open the door..?"  
  
Lu Xun gave the little cock of the eyebrows again, then opened the door.  
  
The place was empty.  
  
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
Zhou Yu groaned from being awakened from his precious nap by the loud high-pitched voice of Adrasteia. His sight was blurry, and he couldn't figure out the details of the room, but he could clearly see that the girl was handling the phone.  
  
"Soo.. what are we supposed to do now?"  
  
When his vision cleared and focus, he could clearly see Adrasteia being intensely involved in her phone conversation.. and oddly.. not giddy. He could see the frown reflected upon her face, and those light eyebrows that were not expected of their capability of showing worry and gloom. The conversation was not about hentai then. That was a start.  
  
The girl paced back and forth, her pony tailed hair bouncing off and each strand of hair flying their own path.  
  
"Why didn't anyone tell me???"  
  
For a moment, Gong Jin could have almost imagined that she was like a flustered business man with indecent employees on the payroll and not like some perverted adolescent hunting for porno. Almost.  
  
She listened closely to the other person on the other line, subconsciously nodding her head along as though the person was right in front of her. Adrasteia began to look even more grave than before.  
  
"I understand."  
  
She placed the phone back into the receiver and heaved a great sigh.  
  
"As if she's the one with all the problems," Zhou Yu dully thought.  
  
Adrasteia stared at a spot right in front of her.. although not really looking. Her eyes were glazed and detached. Distracted. For a moment there, it seemed that she had forgotten about the existence of the center of all her perverted imaginations… Zhou Yu.  
  
This.. had been a very rare reaction for Adrasteia to express. Zhou Yu wondered if anyone had died perhaps. What would have possibly changed this odd girl so much?  
  
Gong Jin sat up on the couch and asked in curiousity, and perhaps in some amount of worry, "What happened?"  
  
There was silence, Adrasteia continued gazing off at the distance.  
  
Then finally, she spoke.  
  
"Sorry but… I have to go somewhere… I… I have to leave in 2 hours. Gomen nasai… excuse me.." Adrasteia shuffled quickly towards one of the rooms.  
  
Zhou Yu stood up from the couch and watched her pack her luggage. She muttered as she threw wrinkled shirts (mostly Zhou Yu's) into the bag.. perhaps even muttering about forgetting some meeting… although he wasn't sure though. Most of what she said was incomprehensible anyway.  
  
After she has dumped her stuff into her bags, she quickly shuffled over to the door- leaving Zhou Yu's apartment without even a word to him.  
  
Gong Jin sighed, then slumped over the couch again, savoring what privacy that he had lost. Days without Adrasteia. That's good.  
  
He stifled a yawn, and his consciousness was being dragged down sleep again… peaceful… sleep… In the deep darkness… somehow.. things emerged…  
  
Flash. White. Voices. Spoke. Whispers. Ghostly. Whispered. Whispered.  
  
Zhou Yu bolted up awake once more. He couldn't remember what happened but his feelings nagged at him to follow what the voices told him.  
  
Go to Paris.  
  
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Author's Note: ((date of Creation)) June 24 around 2:30… WHEEEE… Ahh.. sorry people.. I had been battling with writer's block!! . It's preparing a siege!! Noo!! I must fight back!! With Zhou Yu the dead hot guy by my side-  
  
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Anyways.. after getting carried away there.. uhh.. expect a few chapters that are a bit slapstick just like the first 3 chapters of this ficcy.. .. or not.. I don't know.. expect the unexpected.. You're reading an unpredictable author's work here… Spontaneous events.. actions….. 


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